Preferences, Smeferences- We All Have Them

I swear  not a week goes by when I’m not called picky or superficial by friends or certain family members. No matter how much I explain to them that I have certain preferences that I like to adhere to, it’s always taken as a negative. They always want to throw comments back like, “Oh and that’s why you’re single now”, “How do you think you’ll ever find someone?” and the like.

I always wonder, why is it when a woman has preferences, she’s given the negative connotation of  being ‘picky’, but when a man states his preferences, they’re just that, his ‘preferences’.

I can’t help it that “some” of my preferences include men that:

• are over 6′2
• have a stable career
• doesn’t lie through their teeth
• have nice teeth (no one wants a snag-a-tooth)
• are well groomed
• isn’t passive/aggressive
• has skin that doesn’t look like Laurence Fishbourne’s (craters are only good on the moon)
• has a good relationship with their family
• keeps a clean house
• isn’t crazy (been there done that..got the tshirt)
• has a 401k and benefits
• doesn’t look like Officer Rickkkkkkkkyyyyyyyyy aka Rick Ross (no one should be able to take the circumfernce of a stomach)

I truly don’t think I’m asking for much (well that’s the short list). What I’m saying is that everyone should have their short list & long list of things they look for in a potential partner.

Now where I’ve seen a lot of people fail (men & women) is when they look for the things they can’t offer themselves.

For example, if you’re a woman looking for a man with a 700+ FICO and yours is about 300, that definitely isn’t going to cut it.  The same goes for men. You say  you want a woman who’s a shapely size 6 & who works out, but some of yall are walking around looking like Officer Rickkkkkkkyyyyy (sorry I have 50 cent on my brain today).  I don’t see that balancing out, at all! I learned early on, never ask for anything that you’re not bringing to the table yourself. That goes for men and women.

What I will also say is that preferences aren’t something that’s necessarily written in stone. I’ve stood in the ‘concession stand line’ plenty of times.  I’ve made plenty of concessions when it came to men. There have been the ones with less than stellar credit, there have been the ones under 6′0 and even those who didn’t necessarily have perfect teeth, but they weren’t walking around  looking like the clown from “IT” either.  In life, I’ve learn that everything is about give & take.

So let’s talk about preferences, you’ve read some of mine, what are some of yours and what concessions have you made before?

Tags: blak, chik, concessions, dating, fungke, fungkeblakchik, men, preferences, social interaction, women