Relax, B*tch! He’s Not My Type!

I always find it funny when a woman wants to grab up her man in a public place when she notices he’s staring or admiring another woman, and this was the case on Sunday while I was shopping at the mall. When I shop, I have tunnel vision. I don’t pay attention to anything going on around me. My goal is to find what I want and leave the mall as quickly as possible. If something was ever to happen in a store, like a robbery, I wouldn’t do the police any good by giving a description of the perpetrator, because that’s how little I pay attention to what’s going on around me.

As I was searching for some long pants at Banana Republic, I was on the phone talking and texting, I was in my own little world. That was until I felt like I was being watched. So I turned to my left and there was “Shrek”, practically devouring me with his eyes. I shook my head and continued my conversation and looking through the clothes. A few minutes later, Shrek was still staring at me. I made my way to another section of the store and figured that would free me from his glares. Wrong. That “I feel someone staring at me feeling” eventually came back, and of course Shrek was back. When I looked up, here comes his “Fiona” from behind and grabbed him by the arm and startled him. In typical insecure woman fashion, she’s giving me the evil eye. “B*tch, please”, is what I wanted to say to her, but I refused to let some ugg-mugg and his ‘keeper’ ruin my day of shopping. I went about my business and paid the two of them no attention, even though now both of them couldn’t keep their eyes off of me.

What happened in that store, I’m sure has happened to tons of women, when they’ve ran into the roaming eye man, and his insecure woman. In the typical “Relax, b*tch, he’s not my type” scenario, the insecure woman immediately gives the gas face to the object of her man’s glare, when in fact, she should have smacked her man upside his head for being so blatantly disrespectful (just kidding I don’t condone domestic violence). In any event, I left Shrek & Fiona to quarrel amongst themselves as I left the store and I made sure I gave both of them something to look at as I strutted off and flipped my hair, with a little grin on my face.

B.Scott- Top 5 Reasons Your Man Ain’t Sh*t